Jun 20

In English we use exactly the same word to denote ‘feeling’ meaning sensory physical touch and experience and for ‘Feeling’ meaning emotional mood and experience.

It is essential to be aware of this in order to properly identification the sensory or the emotional connotation in use of the word. This is further complicated by the fact that sensory feeling can be accompanied by an emotion feeling!

In regard to the following comments the constant reference throughout is to the emotions.

What are the basic emotions of a human being?  Contentment, happiness or joy, suffering or pain, sympathy, kindness, anger, envy, jealousy, compassion, irritation, fear, faith, anxiety, hatred, love, yearning, desire, pride and so on.

In each person these ingredients are developed and exercised differently to create a different and unique recipe of an individual emotional character.  The composite ingredients make up the pattern of the individual essentially our own and which separates us from other emotional bodies of other people around us. Yet the basic emotions and responses are common to us all.

We may have blended our emotions into a character with a harmonious result, giving us a stable and positively polarized personality or possibly we could have thrown our unresolved and tended feelings carelessly aside to result in chaotic and even violent emotional make-up.

Untrained emotions are usually a hotch potch of feelings resulting from life experiences of all kinds without having had any sorting or cleansing to eliminate the negative, that regrettably often predominates.  This continues until we grow discomforted to be always in anger, depression, fear or other unpleasant emotional states and we use our will to alter our reactions to life. This exercise in self culture requires great patience and persistence but is essential for a happy life and smooth relationships.

If we should choose to consciously feed on violence and ugliness, on horror and degraded emotions we develop an emotional body accordingly and will in turn seek to express these violent emotions.  In the same way if we choose to nourish our feelings on beauty, and refinement in music and studies, then gentler emotions and idealism will be nurtured.

It is a matter of choice.

Human beings learn slowly. I. It is easier to say “I was born that way” than to affirm that it is one’s laziness which determines that negative emotions and moods endure. Deny it we may, but the fact remains that each of us can and must be responsible for our emotional control and each of us can and must learn to change for the better the pattern we inherited at our birth.

Emotions of all types comprise our emotional sheath of the personality. Although our emotions are invisible they are very real to us. They need to be nourished and this comes naturally through our enjoyments and the many entertainments that fascinate us. The most important being affection from others and the opportunity to exchange our feelings and communicate them.

One of the most popular ways of emotional enjoyment is through music. But this as nourishment applies only to that music which is melodic, tuneful, clear and uplifting.  There could be nothing more destructive to our emotions than the primitive loud discords and drum beats, the screaming and the inanity of modern rock noise. Scientists have confirmed that these loud discords and depressed subjects harm brain and body.

When we are emotionally in need we naturally turn to soothing music, company of a friend, creative hobby, or go for a walk in nature so that we have the opportunity to re-group our emotional feelings and feel whole again. Some of us have friends who will lift our spirits magically and restore a positive mood but if they are preoccupied, there is no better and constant friend than nature itself or its agents of water, sunshine, gardens and fresh air.

Jun 20

Most women know the tremendous sense of relief after a tearful expression of their negative emotional store. It is a natural way of releasing emotional tension, stress and resentment.

Most men see tears as an emotional indulgence, a weakness and often despise such a display of self-sorrow. Other men are not irritated by tears of a woman, but see it as a sign of distress and opportunity to offer their strong protection and help.

It is usual that men restrain any inclination to cry in their effort to cultivate masculine strength and this is to be applauded in spite of trendy ideas to the contrary. Most women are dismayed to see a man cry and feel very insecure to think that in this sphere men are not stronger than they.

Self pity is not the only emotion which is stored and must be cleansed occasionally from one’s being. There are many others, the most detrimental being that of resentment.  Stored resentment is found to be a factor in creating conditions where physical diseases such as arthritis and cancer flourish.

One’s sense of fairness can prove uncomfortable if one feels that a situation of unfairness has occurred, particularly if it relates immediately to oneself. And this causes a buildup of anger. There are limitless possible situations which can generate an angry response.  But anger does no good.

A problem arises if there is no release of that anger energy.  If it is not displayed, expressed, released or conveyed to give opportunity to resolve the trigger factor, then the anger energy will begin to work destructively in the physical body and cause damage to health of one’s entire being.

Cleansing one’s emotions should be approached within the total attitude and discipline of a self cultural programme. That is, it should not be that one’s effort to get rid of negative energy of emotional kind should be inflicted upon another, nor disturb another’s peace.  There is nothing so quickly flaring a response as sudden anger from one person and defensive response in the other. Although of course it happens often enough, through discipline of each the negative pattern can be averted or changed entirely.

It is best to go off alone and vent one’s spleen by stamping up and down, having a good cry, or sometimes a private scream or yell until you feel your equilibrium return and reason resumes the reins enough to think clearly for discussion and put aside the emotional hurt and negative and often destructive mood that follows.

There is a need to use courage to face up to problems that occur and if necessary confront the person or persons who are party to or responsible for, the cause of your anger or hurt. The only time this should be attempted is when all parties are quiet and the irritant situation diffused. Only then is everyone receptive.

Of course that sounds simple, and in practice is exceedingly difficult. Subtlety, understanding, techniques in negotiation are all part of the qualities which go to successful communication about getting some relief from the emotional inflictions which others can cause. Sometimes it is not possible to get a hearing and then only an attitude or action offers a cure.

Courage is required to make an attempt to voice your concerns and your hurts, your irritations or your anxieties. Discretion is required to choose the right time for such communication and in truth many find that there is never “a right time” – there is likely a permanent reluctance on the part of other parties to avoid confrontation.  Mostly this comes from an over defensive attitude on their part.

With man and woman it is essential to realise that emotional make up of a man is entirely different to that of a woman no matter what unisex ideologies abound.  There are emotional attitudes and defensive stances which a man will most certainly assume when he is approached on emotional issues and these unfortunately appear as weakness or irrational to a woman.  On the other hand, when women are approached by a man who wants a hearing about her problems or habits she invariably responds by talking – and her words and attitudes seem quite irrational to a man.

With the preponderance of domestic violence in the community, it would seem that some basic adjustment is required to make the emotional energies which become inflamed negatively, resume a more balanced warm glow of affectionate understanding in households in order to provide a semblance of a secure and safe environment for children to be reared and for family life to resume its proper place as our greatest need for emotional security.

Jun 20

The healthy state of a child’s mind begins at home. Early years are very important both for the development of emotional life as well as thought patterns and intellect. All development is easier if there is a foundation of robust physical health.

When infants display signs of irregular or erratic behavior, stress reactions and nervous problems that are indicative of some imbalance in the psyche it can cause parents great concern as to the means of correction. Sometimes the causes are not known or whether the problems are the result of physiological chemistry or deeper neurological or psychological factors.

In seeking a remedy, the obvious first attention is to nutrition. Although parents try their best to provide good food and sufficient for their children’s health, basic poor nutrition is frequently unrecognized but must be addressed.  For decades the familiar cry of nutritionists that American and Australian children are ‘overfed and undernourished’ has failed to be generally understood as being based upon the necessity for quality. It refers to the need for natural, fresh, wholesome and unprocessed or vitamin -rich food that provides nutrients for the brain as well as body.

The psychological needs of children although simple and well known in theory, are sensitive issues in practice when family life is generally complex. Comparatively little quality time is given by busy parents to nurturing the subtler aspects of each individual soul in the family group, through private discussion, generous affection and personal encouragement to each. How to accomplish this is the task of each family aided by the hard won experiences of previous parents, grandparents and by reference to the enduring values common to every generation.

However, without discipline in the home it is not possible to fulfill any parental plan and modern life presents many opportunities to exercise extensions of it in dealing with such new factors as mobile phones, television, electronic games and all other technological toys and ‘advances’ that we are persuaded will make our life happier. There are some people who offer hints to remind us of some success in households that have instituted quiet meal times and disciplined conversation to provide one answer as does the bedtime story tradition, now often rejected because of television.

It may be easier to consider the nature of our home care opportunities to fulfill the child’s needs than be able to find the time and the wisdom in applying the theory. It is our ability to achieve time management that will influence the results and give evidence in happy, well adjusted children. Reminders are simple –

Children need to give and receive affection

Instill the values parents believe are a priority – kindness, truth, helping others etc.

Encourage the exercise of child’s natural skills and talents

Provide opportunities for them to develop constructive and creative hobbies

Nurture their self understanding and self confidence

Give them a concept of potential careers and work requiring present and future skills

Help them to formulate simple mental affirmations to strengthen or assist their needs and desires Read to them thoughts to help them later formulate their own philosophy

Provide a sense of security in the home that protects them and encourages a sense of self worth both as an individual and within the bounds of family life.