To a degree our emotions seem left to develop as we grow up and adolescence years offers a period of acquiring emotional independence, instead of continuing the patterns and values of our family.  We begin to determine emotional expression and choose to adopt desirable or appropriate behaviour for ourselves.  Other people serve us by their example of what we see as positive qualities to develop and also by demonstrating behavior we choose to avoid.

We are not usually aware of the power that emotions have until we are more experienced in life. Then we rather dramatically learn that our feeling can prove stronger than thought and can steer us to future happiness and success or can damage our opportunities in our career and personal relationships.

We are forced to realize that we each must undertake to cultivate our good emotions and to employ our feeling nature appropriately.  Equally we have to discourage our fears and negative feelings that impinge upon our own inner harmony and the comfort of others.

If we fail to initiate our own personal self discipline, external circumstances will force us to become aware of the importance. We may learn that a few moments of uncontrolled emotion can destroy years of previous effort and fortune.

If we wish to freely develop our intellect, we must have our emotions under control and definitely on side so that mind and feelings are co-operative.  If we are not able to rely upon stable and vital emotions, we will never be sure that negative feelings and responses will not rear up to damage our life or enterprises in some way, particularly in regard to relationships.

Our emotions, particularly the finest emotions, also require nourishment in order to grow through the kindness and understanding of others. It is our good fortune to enjoy, or a disappointment, if this situation does not apply.

However, our own self culture is not reliant upon externals but upon our inner ideals and the self image to which we aspire. Most of us will choose to include desirable emotions that will result in peace, love, happiness and the joy in living.. 

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The basic emotions of a human being we know as feelings of contentment, happiness or joy, suffering or pain, sympathy, kindness, anger, envy, jealousy, compassion, irritation, fear, faith, anxiety, hatred, love, yearning, desire, and so on.  In each person these ingredients are developed and exercised differently to make up a different and unique recipe of emotions that define his individuality and which separate him from other people around him.  Many of the basic ingredients may be common but how these ingredients are blended is up to the choice of each individual. These familiar feelings or emotions may be cultivated and blended harmoniously or can be thrown together in a recipe which results in a chaotic and violent emotional disposition.

Untrained emotions are usually a hotch potch of emotional and often unconscious responses to one’s life experiences without having been sorted or cleansed to eliminate the negatives, which regrettably, often predominate. This state continues until the person grows discomforted in being always in anger, depression, fear or other unpleasant emotional states and uses his will to alter his mood.

To alter one’s emotional pattern requires time and patience do all efforts involved in self culture. Success depends upon our own clear goal and also a degree of friendly encouragement from others as we seek emotional equilibrium, a state that allows us to feel in a state where our minds can direct and control our feelings appropriately.

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When someone hurts our feelings, and this is perhaps the most common injury, it is likely to demonstrate symptoms of emotional upset. This can range from tearful episodes, anger, seething resentment or violent reactions that can cause aggressive behavior or retaliation.  We can also brood about the hurt, or try to resolve the cause by discussion. When it is extremely serious, we can allow depression or even despair to take away our ability to enjoy life.

But if we follow nature’s way we allow time to heal, to restore our positive emotional state and self confidence. This is the best way. And with all healing, it just can happen, sometimes magically, if we place trust in the natural process and give ourselves time to decide how to act. We should refrain from reacting too hastily.

There are also occurrences so traumatic that they damage us physically and psychologically to extend our pain and suffering for a lifetime if we do not find a remedy.

We must find the courage to face or acknowledge the unique causes and hurtful experiences if we are to become free of them to feel whole and happy inside. Acceptance, forgiveness, understanding are valuable tools.

In matters of the heart we must be free of trying to equate or measure affections in relationships. We each love according to our quality of affection, our capacity and in our own unique way. Our love is a gift given to be accepted or rejected by others. We cannot bargain with our heart or demand something another cannot give.

It is often true that when you suffer emotional hurt from another, it is not so much their deliberate intention to hurt but their actions are sparked by their own uncontrolled emotions.

The only positive result of our experience of emotional pain is a determination never to inflict the same hurt upon someone else.

Sally Janssen’s wonderful book “Mental Fitness: The Complete Self-Help Guide”, offers timely solutions. Read more…

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Some days we don’t seem to be provided with any stimulus where laughter would be appropriate. There are days when we don’t laugh at all.  These are also the days that don’t seem to be our good days.

Our best days are when we have enjoyed good company and exchanged interesting conversation or ideas, when we have smiled and laughed in sincere good humour.

There of course can be negative type of laughter  associated with anger, frustration, cynicism or even cruel feelings but genuine laughter is motivated by genuine joy and pleasure.

We all find that socially popular personalities are able to cheer others up by their comic attitude, witty speech, talent for telling jokes and getting the bottom line right, and by expression of their positive, outgoing character.

The old saying “Laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone..” is very true. Laughter is fortunately ‘catching’ and a few people experiencing spontaneous laughter can make others join in the experience, even though they have no idea of the original cause for mirth.

Group laughing sessions are trendy in some societies. The purpose is to give vent to emotions that help us to feel in a good, positive mood. Such therapy groups are becoming quite popular.

To keep cheerful in spite of no one around who is a natural comic or who can ,by habit, be able to make fun that gives you a chance to smile or laugh, is more difficult.  But we have to be able to cheer ourselves up, nevertheless.

To keep a simple image nearby in our home or office – one that makes us smile when we see it, is a great help in keeping our sense of humour sensitive  and our minds aware of life’s pleasant moods and perspectives.

Sally Janssen’s wonderful book “Mental Fitness: The Complete Self-Help Guide”, offers timely solutions. Read more…

Technorati Tags: cheerful, good moods, humorous, joy, personality, smiling

 We are not aware of the power that emotions have. They can steer us to future happiness or to damage our healthy intellectual development or interfere with our mental fitness as well as our physical well being.

Our emotions are usually left to develop as the individual matures. Adolescence years determine a stage towards acquiring emotional independence, instead of continuing previous patterns and values. So we begin to determine emotional expression and desirable or appropriate behaviour for ourselves.

However, throughout life we all need to discourage the negative and control any destructive feelings in our emotional life. Opportunity for deliberate emotional control comes to us after life experiences serve to demonstrate the destructive potential of emotional energy. We learn that a few moments of uncontrolled emotion can destroy years of previous effort and fortune.

If we wish to freely develop our intellect, we must have our emotions under control and definitely on side so that mind and feelings are co-operative.  If we are not able to rely upon stable and vital emotions, we will never be sure that negative feelings and responses will not rear up to damage our life or enterprises in some way, particularly in regard to relationships.

Our emotions, particularly the finest emotions, also require nourishment in order to grow through the kindness and understanding of others.  

Negative feelings tend to grow as easily as weeds in our nature if we do not undertake constant cultivation in order to keep them under control. Finally we hope to eradicate them from our personality so that we can happily, lovingly and intelligently enjoy life with peace of mind knowing a healthy state of emotional and mental health.

Sally Janssen’s wonderful book “Mental Fitness: The Complete Self-Help Guide”, offers timely solutions. Read more…

Technorati Tags: calm, constructive feelings, contentment, control of personality, emotions, happiness, Mental Fitness

The emotions are strong and many a time will win in any conflict situation between thought and feeling.  So we have to maintain a co-operative team situation in recognition of their mutual importance yet retain the mind in the role of manager.

Many of us were not well informed in our youth of the importance of emotional energy.  Schooling frequently is focused upon intellect and thinking capacity and failed to point out

that the secret of life success lies in our emotional energy. Our emotions provide the vital key to success or can destroy our opportunities and bring our career to ruin.

Many a person who is successful in the art of living, both materially and spiritually, will admit that their enthusiasm was an important ingredient. They will tell us that they had to learn how to govern their emotions and channel them positively and that it was hard work.

As sporting skills serve as one arena to train in physical control and development, so our daily life offers us a constant training ground for our emotions. There is not a day goes by but we have a chance to exercise positive emotions of peace, joy, love and affection, optimism and enthusiasm in our work, or in our appreciation of nature and good fortune.  Equally we have to exercise restraint to curb angry responses, impatience, anxiety, greed or selfish desires.

What is that part of your consciousness that is aware of how you really feel; seeks to upgrade any poor emotions; cultivates all your good and loving emotions and seeks to direct this energy constructively to a happy outcome?

 It is your own mind.

Sally Janssen’s wonderful book “Mental Fitness: The Complete Self-Help Guide”, offers timely solutions. Read more…

Technorati Tags: calm, constructive feelings, contentment, control of personality, emotions, happiness, Mental Fitness

 Positive emotions are those that activate our best aspects of our personality or soul. To experience these brings us contentment, happiness, love and peace. All these feelings can inject a special quality into events and experiences. We will all remember the happy moments in our lives when our finest emotions were heightened. Many of these will have arisen spontaneously. Although it is possible to consciously generate certain degrees of feeling, we usually learn that we cannot use our will to bring us a repeat of those feelings.  Only an echo of them comes through our memory and we are reminded that it is possible to experience such ‘highs’ again.

 We all develop our emotional nature not only according to our innate inclinations, but in conjunction with the environment and circumstances to which we react. The most wholesome emotions are those well known to us when it is our heart that speaks to us, rather than our head.

 We readily accept that anger, fear and jealousy result in disturbances to our psyche. When we are feeling envious we feel uncomfortable. When we are lonely, it is only a step away from giving way to depression. Negative feelings are difficult to live with – in ourselves or in those around us.

 On the other hand, we feel good when we feel happy, and cheerful. Like a magnet, we will feel attracted to those who have a positive, outgoing nature.

 So we need to cultivate our emotions as we do our thoughts. To alter one’s emotional pattern requires time and patience do all efforts involved in self culture.  For us all, our discipline involves restraint in curbing anger and irritation, and all negative traits and consciously exercising the positive feelings that will help us to be inwardly in a harmonious and peaceful state where we can identify ourselves with all that is good and noble. The rewards are great and will endure for our lifetime.

We will know love, happiness and the joy of living because our minds will direct our emotions to this end.

Sally Janssen’s wonderful book “Mental Fitness: The Complete Self-Help Guide”, offers timely solutions. Read more…

Technorati Tags: anger, emotions, health, Meditation, Mental Fitness, personality, psychology, relaxation, Stress, The Brain

If we are patient and relaxed enough to admit to ourselves the reasons for any unhappiness it will cause an unravelling of any negative knot or stranglehold within our psyche. This can refer to either emotional issues or to mental problems that preoccupy our thoughts and disturb our mental fitness. Even if the cause is not immediately apparent, we really may know the answer, although it may be at present buried in our deeper unconscious mind waiting for us to discover the key.

So sometimes we must be patient, and keep searching for the answer so we can dissolve our dissatisfaction or unhappiness and transform it into positive energy. This may results in a more relaxed state, a general acceptance of things we can’t change or improve, feeling of contentment, or better still, just the feeling of joy and happiness in being alive.

It is also a case that we can choose to remain or even to wallow in negative states or to take an emotionally positive attitude using our freedom of choice and free will to focus upon being cheerful.

The latter may start with an effort to look cheerful, and to smile or laugh but as we all know, this will encourage our mood to follow. So we do have a measure of control over our emotions, moods and expressions. Soon the habit will feel natural and we’ll be pleased we made the effort.

However in our personal search and desire to feel happy we are reminded of the simple wisdom claiming that happiness is generated spontaneously when we are actively creative in some worthwhile endeavour.

So we can learn to enjoy doing the dutiful work we have to do or we can seek work that suits our nature and talents to make happiness easier.

But choose we must – and our mental fitness and happiness depends upon our selection of the ‘Happiness’ programme to download into our brains.

Sally Janssen’s wonderful book Mental health and Fitness: A Simple Self-help Guide, offers simple and timely solutions.  Read more…

Technorati Tags: anxiety, Meditation, Mental Fitness, mental health, relaxation, Stress